![]() Before you resign, I think you should speak with your manager and discuss the possibility of decreasing your hours or moving to a different position with fewer hours. However, according to your letter it sounds like your finances won’t suffer much if you leave this position. Furthermore, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work or have a career because you can definitely have one. I’m not saying that saving your marriage is your burden to carry alone - absolutely not. In other words, if you do some changing, your husband will too. One of my professors in a family systems class once told us, “If one person in the system changes, the entire system will change.” Like you said in your letter, with sea duty, trainings and deployments, you will experience a lot of separations. You have to give your husband and you a chance to build strong bonds with each other. It won’t take long before distance and time cause a great gap in your marriage, especially since you are newly married. Honestly, I think you should do what you have to do to save your marriage. Some of this is normal, but it does sound like you are working a lot of hours for anyone. It sounds like you got married and now everything has changed. I guess what I'm asking is do you think that if I leave my field of employment that it would help my husband and me reconnect, and have a healthier relationship? I think that this job is just adding too much stress to our lives when the stress from the Navy is already enough. But now that I work 9 a.m.-9 p.m., that doesn't happen. I know he's irritated that when we first were together, I would cook, clean and work. We've talked about it, but he doesn't seem to think much would change. I'm not sure if that would fix our situation. I've considered leaving my place of employment after our housing allowance comes in, and finding work that doesn't require so many hours. I completely understand that, but he has a wife at home that he barely sees. He simply states that even though he works with these guys, it's not hangout time for them. I think he should try to go out once a month, maybe twice, and spend the rest of the time home. I've stressed to him that we need more time alone together. He doesn't come home until the next morning. He often likes to plan to go out with the guys on Friday and Saturday nights, not even inviting me (since it's a workday).
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